12.31.13


Last Entry in 2013

Aka Uncontrollable

By Sara Gamachu

December 30, 2013

 

When people take a first look at my son and I they might think wow this young man is very energetic. I have even had people give me that look that said “Can’t you keep him under control” as if I was not trying to keep him from playing with the water fountain at his doctor’s office. Now trust me my son is like any other preschool child. He has half of my energy and half of his father’s energy. Trust me when I say that is a whole lot of energy. No matter what I am proud of how much, he has accomplished this past year. Here is a little boy who went from a two-person family to living with this mom full time and visiting his dad part time. No matter what has happened in his young life, he is a strong trooper. I call him my little warrior because he has fought so much to make it to his 3 years mark. Last year about this time, he entered his daycare for the first time in his entire life. I was told by the staff that he marched in one day as if he owned this place. That is right my son has the self-confidence of a pro. By the time he got to see his grandma this year, my son was a walking, talking, and very energetic 2.5 years old. If you had seen him last year you might think is that the same quiet little boy who at times was labeled the biter of the class. After some testing we actually found out that was how he was able to communicate that he did not like something. Yes, my sweet little boy had figured out like his mom that he was not your ordinary 1.5 year old.

To my shock and dismay I found out in January of 2013 that my son’s father actually labeled my son and I, “The tornado and ball and chain.” during a conversation with one of his close friends on Facebook. My son and I were on vacation visiting my family for Ethiopian Christmas. I was fuming when I got the information. Several months later, I decided to stand up for ourselves when I left his father. I have told my friends, when they check on me when he was visiting his dad, what I thought about my ex-husband. I bluntly would say that he had wanted to be a weekend dad so he pretty much got his wish. See I constantly argued that I was my son’s main caregiver. When we were still married, his father would constantly leave on person time or game trips while I stayed home with my son. For a while, I would joke that I had two kids…one being my son. I guess you could say I could only raise one child… and that was my son. Sure, I had to listen to my former in-laws and son’s father’s family joke about how I was not able to control my son (aka discipline him). I wanted to say “Excuse me I am doing all the work and what the heck are you all doing?” Yes they loved to talk about how proud they were of him when he started crawling and soon walking. Once again, I wanted to go… “Hmm where were you when I was taking care of his basic needs…” I was washing laundry, folding them, washing dishes, and trying to keep the home environment as safe and emotionally comfortable. You wonder why this year I need some time to rest and heal. If you lived in an atmosphere where you were not appreciated and constantly teased about, things you could not do right…you would need to rebuild up your strength too.

So next time someone gives me that “Can’t you keep your child under control” look I might just politely ask them if they wanted to assist me by blocking the way to the water fountain. Yes, I am a mom… and darn proud of it. My son and I have had heck of 2013. I am hoping that next year I will have some new stories to share. Here is to an exciting and calming 2014! Happy New Year wishes to all my readers, family, and friends around the globe!

 

Sara

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