How did A Mother’s Journey through Life turn into Starting Over in 2013?

I remember one of the last entries I made on AMJTL was about making a restart. I know that as I wrote it I was going through many changes in my life. We had just moved to a new town and I was still learning the new culture that I had married into. I remember how much I wanted to make a new start. I was in my late 20s and looking forward to a new life. I remember my love of writing and during my spare time, I started writing about being a new mom. I was so excited about the chance to start a new life. Here I was a young woman just married and becoming a mother. I was the kind of girl who was looking forward to joining the local Mommy & Me group. As I unpacked, the boxes and I imagined about having people over for dinner and just hanging out.

I wanted to be one of those moms who would take care of my family by day… and write stories or articles that were close to my heart. Well sadly, not all my hopes and dreams come true. I found myself getting out of bed, wandering into the living room, and just sitting on the couch. I would sit and peer around the house and just wonder how I got to this point in my life. I mean don’t get me wrong I was thrilled to be in a new place and just having a life any gal would dream of. Yet it was not enough. Was I going to wake up every morning and look out the same window at a neighborhood that I felt more like an outsider looking out of a box?

These days as I look back at my life I felt so much like a phony. How could I write about being happy and starting my life as a mother. I was not getting the love or emotional support that I deserved. I was putting all my energy into what everyone else wanted, but left out the one person that was very important….me. So that is why I decided to start the blog over from scratch. I could not look at the past…but I could rebuild myself for the future.