There are times when I just want to write out my thoughts without really thinking about what is coming out of my mind.  I shouldn’t be worried that people might be offended my thoughts.  I guess that is what it is like to have anxiety and depression.  You hear these thoughts that tell you that you are no good.  Nobody would like to read what you have to say.

If I so publish this it would be on refresh28.wordpress.com.  It is the place that I have felt more comfortable with publishing things.  I love when I get into Sara mode.  She lets me say things that I could only dream of.  She has no fear and speaks her mind.  Being so brave must be a gift from heaven.

If I wrote about my dreams would people read it?  Would they believe in me?  I just need a little support and then I can breathe life into my dream.  So here goes nothing.  I want to start a business that helps women coming out of domestic violence situations.  They need the comfort that other survivors can teach and give them.  I can see an area that helps single parents learn how to be parents who feel confident about themselves.  Another area would be a job search program that helps women with finding jobs.  The need for assistance is so great.

As a survivor of DV I understand what it is like to live in fear that my child would be taken from me for whatever reason there might be.  I didn’t get any support from his father I was literally on my own.  Plus I was living far away from my family and support system.  Many times I heard the words that I had a different situation.  I find that to be a discouraging things to say to any person who lived in these unhealthy situations.  Getting emotionally put down is just as bad as getting physically harmed.  You live in fear that anything can happen when you least expect it.

As I recall the spotted memories of that time, I realized that I felt like an outsider.  It wasn’t until several years later that when I explained my situation that I was not different from any other person who had lived in this environment.

My heart would break because I was not able to use the word abuse to describe how I lived.  Many times my head and heart would scream how it can it be more different from any other victim or survivor.  Emotional, mental, and verbal abuse is just like anything a person lives through.  Traditionally you see a person with a black eye with an arm in a sling.  What about the young woman who flinches when shown any affection.  You have no idea why she shrieked for anyone the story behind those eyes.

Well now I have said what I have wanted to say for a long time.  You would be shocked I even started a powerpoint/keynote presentation that talks about the basics of what I want to do for these women.  There should not be a discrimination about their orientation or how they escaped the relationship.  We are all one in this fight.

The survivor! by M J Richardson is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

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