How is it that when anniversaries come by sometimes the mind doesn’t realize it. But when someone acknowledges it the difference it makes in a person is tremendous. Last night as I was working on my training my whole mind went to the Reader Notification on my blog. I had seen the badge for my anniversary the day before but it didn’t hit me. I wanted to do some big post saying how proud of myself for such a milestone. But my mind was hyper-focused on my goal of finishing my training. I had been at my job for a year and doing on the job training but didn’t do my webinars. So I told myself “Molly do you want this badly?” Of course I said yes. So I decided this was what I needed to do. I was putting the oxygen mask on my face and taking in the deep breaths. I knew I needed more training not just on the job but extra so my mind could understand what was going on. So that was that. I decided I would do whatever it took listening to the YouTube videos at night and doing the demos during the weekend.
You know what it was as if the light bulb went on and I had a Oprah “Ah Ha” moment. It was amazing. I remember last year I made it my goal to have more than a thousand followers on Twitter. I wanted to promote my blogs and reach more people. I worked my butt off trying to understand how others did it and do it my own way. Today I have over 2k following me on Twitter.
Life is not easy when you have memory difficulties. You have to find a different way to help you do the most simple things. I use my phone to schedule appointments and set up things. I make sure I get notifications and reminders the day before and day of. I knew without that I would be lost and not able to keep up with everyone else.
Before my mom left she made me promise I would do whatever it took to get better and improve myself. Living with anxiety is a lot of work. I have to turn of the thoughts in my head that or put blockers that tell me that I can’t do something.
Thank you WordPress for giving me the wings to soar. This butterfly is learning to soar with the eagles. 🙂
For all of us dealing with life.
Many people liked the post I wrote about my training ground in Holeta. They even asked what happened afterwards. Well everything have written from November up until now has been exactly the “afterwards”.
Thanksgiving marked a week since my return to what I call my home state of Washington. I was an African who grew up in America and than visited her native land. Tongue tied?
As long as I can remember I was reminded that I was born small as in very light weight (or underweight). People didn’t think I would make it past my first birthday. Yes that was 30 odd years ago. When I was abroad I realized why this phrase was wandering aimlessly in my mind. Most young children have a short morality rate as a young infant. In a very poor country that is known for famine that fact is sadly a reality. People when they met me seemed shocked that the young baby they saw had not only turned into a woman yet she survived.
Now its been two days since I began this post. I thought about the title of Take Care of Yourself and decided that it actually sticks. My main thing I wanted to write about was how I have been learning to take care of myself. I traveled and learned how to help my mom as she learned to live in a new era of her life as a retired elementary school eduactor and counselor. It was a huge change for her after living in the States for over 30 years. Now she had to not just learn how to live with post polio sydrome but living in a country that didn’t have as much assitance for those living with disablities. In a way she became a pioneer in this area or cause.
One thing she wanted me to learn was how to take care of myself like most of my peers did. Living either by myself or with a roomate. Cooking meals and keeping house was another thing that I had a difficult time doing when I was married. So doing it on my own would have been a challenge.
At some point in the last year I made up my mind that had I was given the chance to truely start over I would make it a personal goal to do whatever it took to become a person who overcame these challenges and others.
So when people would ask me on the weekends or whenever I heard from my mom while I was here the last several months. I simply answered that I was learning living skills. I wanted to learn how to cook. I was determined to make meals that needed an oven or stove top. I wanted to refresh my basic skills of baking cookies. Especially when it had to do with the kind that didn’t mean put it on the baking and warm up. I meant mixing cups, teaspoons, and tablespoons. In my mind I thought if I was going to learn this… than I ought to do it the right or hard working way. Food that was good for me not just microwavable.
So these days I haven’t blogged much because I had started a job that takes a lot of my time and learning how to be a good worker. It was something most would say I was born to do. In the hospitality industry I am a front desk person who greets people and checks them into… a spa.
To be continued……
I sometimes take a picture of you because you’re just so adorable and amazing and beautiful. And sometimes I catch a hint of fragility in what the camera catches. Other times I see huge heaping mounds of it. Giant reserves of delicate. Like you’re a crystal chandelier in the shape of my beautiful boy. And […]